Some people think falling in love can only happen once, with the person they spend the rest of their life with. Some people think that they’ll fall in love, become heartbroken, and repeat both until they aren’t heartbroken anymore. Some people think falling in love is a myth.
You can fall in love as many times as you want. Because each time you fall in love, it’s different.
I fell in love with the boy who gave me a single rose. Not a dozen like most girls would expect. Not along with a box of chocolate. A single rose. The rose had a deep red color, with black fraying the ends of the petals, as it grew old. The green stem was slightly bent from being carried around all day until he saw me. He saw me walking and quickly fell into step with me, saying an awkward ‘hello’, as we both hadn’t expressed our feelings to each other yet. And then he pulled the rose out. That single rose with the withering black ends and the bent stem. From there, he became the boy I fell in love with who kissed me on the forehead even though I was soaked from the rain. The boy who lay by my side on the grassy hill, just looking at the sky. The boy who would take my hand gently whenever he was close to me. The boy who was unafraid of hugging me and kissing my cheek in front of my family. The boy who stroked my hair in the quiet moments. The first boy.
I fell in love with the boy who took me to dinner with the green eyes. Even at such a young age, sharing chicken tenders and laughing about politics we didn’t understand made my heart leap. I fell in love with the boy who tried his best to impress me every day from the color of his tie, to the surprises he would leave me. The boy who jumped on his bed until a bed leg broke because he was so excited to hear my voice on the other end of the phone. Even though it was such a short time, I fell in love with him as well.
I fell in love with the boy who tickled my knee during class and would talk to me every time my friend and I fought. The one who decided to go to the dance just to see me. The boy who would watch scary movies with me and cover my eyes every time he knew something scary would pop up on the screen. The boy who texted me a picture of food every time he remembered. The boy who forgot about me a week later.
I fell in love with the boy whose heart was broken. It wasn’t even my place, but I would tell him that he would find a better girl after the girl he liked rejected him. I always hoped the girl he found would be me. The boy who was misunderstood just because he was a hopeless romantic and wouldn’t give up on her. The boy who would joke and flirt with her, as I watched by them. The boy who would tell me what he liked about her, as I just listened and nodded. The boy I gave advice to, so that he could try to be with her. The boy I just wanted to be happy, even though it made me sad inside. The boy who didn’t see me.
I fell in love with the quiet boy who sat at the other side of the class. He never spoke, unless he was called on, and when he spoke, all the other sounds in the class disappeared. The tapping of a pencil on a wooden desk from an impatient student waiting for class to end. The sigh of the girl sitting next to me as she tried not to fall asleep. The zipping of a backpack opening. The crinkle of a bag of chips being opened. The giggle of two gossiping girls in the back of the room. His voice was a wonderful low tone. Quiet, but so smooth. The boy who said ‘hi’ to me every time we were walking into class, even though we had hardly spoken before. The boy who signed my yearbook as I passed it around the classroom. The boy I should have spoken to more.
I fell in love with the boy who I never imagined I would meet. The type of boy who would usually annoy me to the point of telling him to ‘shut up’ in front of the whole class. The boy who surprised me by sitting with me in the library even though he had a whole table of his popular friends waiting for him. The boy who would leave me snacks in my backpack without me knowing, because he knew I never ate breakfast. The boy who gave me gloves because my hands were always cold. The boy who left me small notes where I would least expect them. The boy who leaned against the wall waiting for me when class was over. The boy who suddenly held my hand in front of all his friends, shocking them all. The boy who cried quietly to me when he needed someone to talk to. The boy who would scare me at the end of the day by suddenly hugging me from behind. The boy who was unashamed of showing me off to his friends. The boy who kissed me and made my palms sweat. The boy who would randomly ask me strange questions. The boy who wondered why I even fell for him. The boy who stopped grabbing my hand. The boy who became slower to respond to my messages. The boy who confessed to me late one night. The boy who cheated on me. The boy who told me goodbye at the end. The boy who made me drive home in tears and cry all night. The boy who broke my heart for the first time.
I fell in love with the boy who was mature and understanding. Someone I had a crush on just because he was well known. I was just like a typical fan. But he paid certain attention to me, and would always make me smile, even though my heart was just broken. The boy who would ask me every day if I had a good day. The boy who would message me every time I wrote something sad online. The boy whose voice made me laugh, and smile to the point of tears. The boy who understood my teenage heart. The boy who always complimented me on everything. The boy I would never have been with anyway.
I fell in love with the boy who asked me to cheer him on. Who messaged me randomly one day and gave me his phone number. I hadn’t hung out with a boy one on one since the one who broke my heart. The boy who could tell when I was nervous. And the boy who told me he liked my dimples. The boy who would text me when he was about to sleep. The boy who told me secrets. The boy who sang to me even though he was a terrible singer. The boy who suddenly kissed me on the cheek one day when I was feeling down. The boy who suddenly transformed into someone I didn’t know. The boy who put me down and told me I disappointed him. The boy who showed me his true colors. The second boy to make me cry. The boy who changed.
I fell in love with the boys who made me laugh. The boys who I could always just enjoy myself with. The boys who made me realize what being truly happy was. The boys who could make me laugh until my cheeks were sore. The boys I could do anything with. The boys I told everything to. The boys I knew would be my best friends for the rest of my life.
I fell in love with the boy who smiled at me whenever he saw me. The boy who would shyly say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ as I came and went. The boy who showed himself as fearless. The boy who was romantic. The boy who knew exactly how to make a girl blush just with words. The boy I realized needed someone better than me.
You can fall in love as many times as your heart lets you. You may still have more falls to come. One day, I hope I’ll fall, and that boy will catch me and won’t let me go and fall again.